Monday Life Awareness

Well, it's a fact, I am crabby on Mondays. The weekend always goes too fast and I'm left staring at my phone asking why it is telling me to get up and go to work. Well, this prompted me to start focusing on being aware of all the good in my life. So every Monday, I'll be posting something that I am thankful for. Hopefully this will get me in the habit of being grateful even when I am cranky and hopefully will counteract the acute "case of the Mondays" I seem to contract every week.

Today I don't really know what I will write about. I've been feeling really down lately. I had some challenging questions from a friend on Thursday and I haven't really quite gotten over them yet. This has caused me to also be a lot less productive over the weekend because I am working on figuring out said questions. It's been rather uncomfortable.

I have a whole host of other things I can complain about, but I am instead going to find something positive.

...


*15 minutes later*


...

I am grateful for my 1st batch of kombucha! I had some of my first bottle on Saturday and it was great. Not quite like the store bought--but hey, at pennies on the dollar I'll definitely take it. I've got my second batch brewing so all is good in that realm.

And I think I am thankful for my friend asking hard questions. I would share them but it's a bit too hard right now (and way too in-depth). My biggest problem is I don't know how to answer them. And that leaves a hole inside me. I feel like I have an opportunity at my door but like any good questing game of old, it takes a yellow key and all I have is 17 green ones.

My Childhood: Where Are My Shoes?

Every Wednesday I'm going to (try to) post a memory from my childhood. As I mentioned before, the reason for this is because I really don't remember all that much, and I'm hoping that by actively thinking about it every week, I'll start to put the pieces together.

As a kid, I was awful at keeping track of my shoes. Every Sunday morning (the only time I was actually required to wear them usually) was a stressful period of running around checking under furniture and digging through piles of clothes trying to find my shoes. My dad especially was impatient and would freak out if we weren't ready "on time" (Although somehow, we always got to church waayy early, but whatever). Well, as I got older, I kept better track of my shoes, but one time I decided I would "pay it forward."

One day my oldest brother came for a visit. He had moved out a few months before and I was very upset with him. I was still too young to really understand that when you get to a certain age you move out and start your own life. You think I would have been really excited about getting to see him, but I was still mad at him for leaving. So I did the only thing I could think of: I hid his shoes.

After a while when he was done visiting he was getting ready to leave, but he couldn't find his shoes. He kept searching but couldn't find them. He was starting to get pretty frustrated, but I was just glad that my plan was working. At some point, my ten-year-old silliness gave away that I had hidden his shoes and he demanded I return them. Of course I refused.

Eventually I had to go get them and I was sad that my plan had failed. He drove off in his piece-of-crap convertible and I went back to my room and sulked because I missed him.

--

I don't really know why I felt like writing about that particular event, but there you have it. I also realize that these are probably really boring stories, but this blog is for me so at a certain point, I don't really care if I people read it / like it or not (although I do love getting comments!).

Did you have any older siblings you tried to sabotage?

My Childhood: Blanket Forts

Every Wednesday I'm going to (try to) post a memory from my childhood. As I mentioned before, the reason for this is because I really don't remember all that much, and I'm hoping that by actively thinking about it every week, I'll start to put the pieces together.

Hahahahaha, I fail miserably at blogging, but I'm working on it. I realize my last childhood post was forever ago. So here's to getting back to it in the new year.

So, when we were kids, we loved making strongholds of any kind. In the winter we made snow forts in the yard. At other times, we dumped all of our "builder" toys out together and would make a ridiculous amalgamation of tinker toys, lincon logs, waffles, k'nex, and even my doll house / kitchen set. It was pretty impressive.

Our summer forts, though, were the best. We made blanket forts. Since we didn't need the blankets on the bed anymore, what better way to utilize this resource than to make forts? Exactly, you can't think of one. We would strategically arrange all of the dressers in our room to make the structural framework for our awesome castle. Most of the time, blankets got tucked into dresser drawers or books got piled on the corners to stabilize the "roof" of our stronghold.

In our zeal, nothing was sacred. I think we even tacked a few blankets up by tucking the corners into the drop ceiling tiles for effect. We used the mantel to create a taller room in our blanket fort and the dressers to create the tunnels in between rooms. There was of course room made for the toy box treasure chest in one room.

Well one time we had run out of building materials to secure the roof of one of our corridors. We started hunting around and found this cool bronze plaque (probably 10-15 lbs). Perfect! We hefted it up on top of the 4.5 foot dresser and tucked the blanket underneath. Our fort was complete!

We began playing in our new fort and doing our usual nonsense when somehow we either pulled on the blanket or kicked into the dresser. Down the plaque came on my head. Ow. Fortunately, I'm rather thick-headed, so no permanent damage done. I still actually remember this happening (I guess that's a good sign), especially the part where we were banned from making forts because it was apparently a potentially amnesia / death inducing activity.

Honestly parents are no fun sometimes. :)

Sometimes it was a castle, sometimes (often) it was a spaceship (Our stuffed animals would play the part of the ship's crew). And the best part was that it could be both at the same time, because it's make-believe. Regardless, we always had a blast. I loved making forts because we all got to participate and since I was the smallest, I always fit better in our forts.

Good times.

What about you, did you ever make blanket forts?

Goals...?

Well, I am currently battling a cold. I just took some nyquil, not thinking that I've also had most of a beer already tonight... Do not try this at home, kids. Actually, don't try this anywhere except maybe home, and only when you're not leaving home at all for the rest of the night. The drums in the music I'm listening to are definitely throbbing against all the congestion in my head. Drugs? Who needs drugs? I apologize in advance for the ludicrity of this post (yes, that is a word).

Um, apart from that, here's what I have going on in the way of goals for 2011. First off, my husband loves me, a lot. He hates doing "resolutions," but put up with setting "loose planning goals" for this year just for me. Yes I am very loved.

Our goals as a family include the following:
Continue eating better
Plan out / start the journey of weight loss for Hubby
Me to get my license!!!!!!
Move into a house?
Finance stuff
Personal Goals -- Me only

Each of these goals breaks down into different bits and pieces, which I feel is better than just leaving them as nebulous "eat better" goals. I want some meat to my goals, haha.

To continue eating better, I want to
eat more fermented foods for digestive / general health
reduce our white flour / white sugar intake
cut out soda completely
eat breakfast everyday
take cod liver oil (a supplement) every day

Weightloss
Still working on this.
I read an interesting thing which was 6 weeks of normal diet alternated with 2 weeks of weight loss diet. I liked the idea of it because it's not so much about crazy, dangerous dieting as it is for gradual, healthy weightloss. More to come as I learn more.

License
for this I intend to start practicing once a week (weather permitting).
Hopefully I can take my test in March by the latest.

House
This is sort of a dreaming goal and I realize that. I haven't told my family because I think they'll think I'm nuts. But we're slowly building our down payment...
If we don't move into a house by the end of December 31st, I'm really not going to flip a lid. But I do want to try.
Sub goals include getting a realtor, identifying "needs" and "wants" and reaffirming our price range. Also we want to find a reliable inspector.

Finance
We want to (obviously) finish our house down payment.
Finish our Car replacement fund. We are 1/3 to 1/2 way there.
Work on reducing food expenses.
Make more homemade Christmas gifts to reduce Christmas spending

Personal Goals
Ok this will change all the time, but for now this includes doing more crafty things and getting rid of extraneous things.

I Survived my Insane Week

Hello everyone,

Updates About my Life
I just wanted you to know, I am still alive.
I turned in my homework on time and got a B. Not bad considering.
I got my big project done for work (except clean up) by my deadline of today.

Food / Menu Planning / Stuff
I've made my menu plan for next week so I can go shopping tomorrow.

I think I will still come in under / at budget even with all the crazy extra things we bought, because I focused on using up a lot of pantry food I've been avoiding.

Overall, not a bad week, from what I can remember--just insanely busy! I still managed to get by with NO food waste. And I finally found a recipe I liked to use some of the sauerkraut I made forever ago. I was terrified it turned out wrong and I would die if I ate it (ok, not really) but I tasted it today after it's been chillin' in the fridge for a few months now and it tastes decent. I am going to use it in some kind of random casserole recipe I found. I'll let you know how it turns out.
I'm still having a hard time sometimes hitting my goal of at least one, preferably two meatless meals per week. This week I only have one planned.
On the other hand, I am getting better about using less meat in the food I do cook.

Other Random Undertakings
I'm making croutons this weekend.
I'm making my first big batch of yogurt this weekend.
I'm actually going to check my bank account to figure out exactly how much I've spent on groceries this month before I go shopping tomorrow, just to make sure I'm doing ok.
I started my compost bin today! I don't have enough stuff in it yet. I'm thinking about asking the grounds crew where I work if they have any yard trimmings I can have. As I live in an apartment, it's going to be hard for me to enough "browns" for my bin.
I also transplanted some of my tree seedlings to bigger containers, and while I was doing so, i found two little seeds sprouting in my bag of dirt I bought from Home Depot the other day. So I planted them, too. What the heck, right? It's not like it's going to be a strain of super-plant that will take overtake my entire apartment building and then the world, right? Can't be...

My Childhood: The Wonderful Maze

Since Fall is rapidly overtaking Summer, I thought I would post a glimpse into a Fall long past.

When I was little the church of about 350 people we used to go would hold a "Hallelujah Hay-down" for all of the kids, in lieu of an "evil" Halloween Party. You got to dress up, eat lots of candy, play games, get your face painted--all on Halloween. There was all kinds of stuff to do.

Cost of Admission: one bag of candy. But you got a bag of mixed candy when you left, so it was really pretty much free.

There was a hayride, which was awesome for a six year-old. There was a campfire (keep in mind, this is a city church. Looking back as an adult, I can't imagine how much red tape they had to go through to get approved for all this crap). At the campfire you got to listen to silly stories (not scary) and drink hot cocoa. The entire experience was great.

But the best part, the best part was the maze. Every year they cleared out all of the chairs in the main sanctuary to build THE BOX MAZE. They took refrigerator-sized boxes and taped them together to form this awesome maze that filled the center of the sanctuary. From a six year-old on the outside, it looked nigh magical. It looked like you really could get lost in there. And from a six year-old mindset, if you got lost, you might not ever be found. Like that toy you lost outside last summer and still couldn't find.

The first year we went, I was too young to be allowed in the maze, though. I was really sad. All my brothers got to go in and play, but not me. "I can take care of myself!" I tried to say, but no one listens to a six year-old. So after I went outside and had some hot chocolate, I came back in and went to the little kid maze. Before you get too excited for me, it looked like this.

L

That was it. It had exactly one corner, one turn. And one side was a lot longer than the other. It was totally lame. I went back to the main sanctuary and watched all the big kids going through the box maze.

I walked around to the different stations watching people get their faces painted or whatever. I remember thinking all night about whether or not I wanted to get my face painted. I remember thinking it was really really important for me to decide if it was ok. Finally, towards the end of the night I decided I wanted to get my face painted, but when I went back to where the face-painter had been, she had left!

There were 2 things I really wanted to do. One of them, I was kept from because of my size, the other, myself. You would think I would have learned something from that night, apart from that eating too much candy is makes your mouth happy but your tummy sad. But I've always felt "cheated" out of things, and I've always been cautious. I've agonized over whether to wear the purple or the red. I've lied awake at night deciding what to say to that one person who always stopped by my locker between 2nd and 3rd period. I've tormented myself over volunteering for something simple like handing out papers.

Even today, I am like that, at least a little bit. I am not very spontaneous, unless it is within boundaries I have already thoroughly explored and deemed safe. I sometimes agonize over small things like spending $2 more for a whatever-it-was that I really liked, versus the other whatever-it-was that I didn't like as much.

My cautious nature has often kept me from telling someone how much they really mean to me, and that's the thing that makes me saddest. I've written so many notes to people pouring out how much I appreciate and love them, only to fold them up, put them in a handmade envelope, and throw them away for irrational fear.

I think today, writing this, I have decided to try to be freer with compliments, more open with laughter. I don't want to go through the rest of my life, never telling people how much they mean to me because of my own silly insecurities.

My Childhood

A little bit about me: My. Memory. Sucks. I don't remember hardly anything from my childhood before 10, but even after 10 I don't remember beyond a few special memories before high school. And even high school, is sort of a blur.

So one thing I thought I'd start doing, is chronicling the things I do remember from childhood. I'm hoping that the more I think about it, the more I'll remember. I think it's important to be able to acknowledge where we came from and to be able to remember the events that have shaped us into the people we are today. Sometimes I feel sort of cheated that I can only remember vague glimpses of my childhood. Other times, I wish I could forget entirely.

One thing I know about my childhood: it was bittersweet. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to focus on remembering the good only, or the good and the bad. Both have shaped me, impacted who I am today, but is pain really worth remembering? Should I really be spending energy on trying to remember the skeletons in the closet, or should I focus on the rainbows and sunshine?

Is the sunshine as bright without memory of the shadow? Is the joy as sweet without remembrance of the pain?

My first story will be one of my very earliest memories. It is more like a picture that I remember than a story. the picture is of our old house in Cincinnati. I am only 3 maybe. I am standing on the rust-colored carpet of the staircase with my 3 older brothers, straining to be tall enough to watch. We are flying paper airplanes off of the staircase into the living room. Dad is making the airplanes for us and watching from his chair while we crash our planes into everything. One gets stuck on the mantle. Everyone is happy.

The biggest thing I remember about this is that everyone is happy. No one is yelling; no one is fighting. Dad is amiably playing along, helping us retrieve our airplanes when they get stuck or just making a new one to replace it.

The strangest thing about this memory is why I remember it. I couldn't tell you. Was it the first time I saw a paper airplane? Maybe. Was there something else going on in life that caused this memory to be preserved? Why do I remember this picture so vividly? The thick shaggy carpet beneath my feet. The weird vases on the mantle that our planes kept crashing into. The gold-colored lamp in the corner. the wing-back chair dad was sitting in. The shape of the cutout that divided the staircase from the living room. I remember it very clearly, especially considering how little I remember in general about my life.


What do you think? Do you think I should strive to remember the Joy and the Pain, or just the Joy? What would you do?

My Inaugural Post

Hi there!

Thanks for stopping by and welcome to my blog. My desire with this blog is to share my stories of cooking and maintaining a home, stories of life as a married woman, and stories about making good use of my time and money.

Quick facts about me:

• My DH and I have always been known as "the old couple."
  
• We are currently striving to pay down our school loans, while still making time to enjoy life and each other.
  
• We are both attending college and hope to be finished by 2014.
  
• We both want to start a family, but are waiting to become more financially stable.